


the happiest of all

by sweetsindle



Series: Scenes from Hell and Heaven [4]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adoption, Character Study, Dadthello, Father-Son Relationship, For Sickening_Grelle, Gen, Gift Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mountains, POV First Person, Picnics, Reminiscing, reaper au, smiling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25118416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsindle/pseuds/sweetsindle
Summary: ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʟʟ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɴᴇᴇᴅ.
Relationships: Ciel Phantomhive & Othello
Series: Scenes from Hell and Heaven [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748728
Kudos: 4





	the happiest of all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sickening_grelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sickening_grelle/gifts).



> For Autumn! I love you more than anything, and I'm so happy that you're finally feeling better!! 🥺💞💘
> 
> Apologies for not getting this out earlier; many things happened, and then I changed the storyline a bunch 😳 I hope you enjoy it!!

_The corners of his mouth were always upward as if he were about to smile. And smiling was something he always did. No matter the weather. No matter the time. No matter the situation, he always smiled._

_Just like anyone, Papa has different kinds of smiles. But Papa's smiles are different from everyone else's._

That day, he had taken me to a world between worlds in the Reaper Realm. After what seemed like an eternity, we both finally had a day off together, despite how impossible it felt for that to happen, considering Headquarter's feelings towards us as a family.

Ever since they found out that we, Papa and I, had a familial bond of sorts, they tried everything to rip us away. 

It would 'distract us from work,' they always said, after pulling us into the office, whether separately or together. 

No one would stand up for me, other than him. My first few months at the academy, and subsequently under Papa's then-tutelage had been nothing but pure and utter hell. I was a bloody laughing stock. Why would someone as 'important' as I hurt myself? 

I always remembered how I cried when I first woke up, as a little, pathetic, soul - when a reaper had collected me after my self-imposed death, and then, in the recovery rooms at the England Branch Reaper hospital. For that first week, all I could do was sob in despair. And for the next month, too. 

Even all the way up to my internship in the Forensics Department. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. 

Papa, though. Papa understood why I cried. He had been there when Ciel came back to reclaim his birthright. He had been there to see Scotland Yard take me and the Demon away in handcuffs. 

Instead of making fun of my current sniveling, childish, frightfully-embarrassing state, he loved me when I cried. 

He pulled me in and gave me a hug. He let me sob on his shoulder until I couldn't anymore. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like someone cared about me - the real me. Of course, I had doubts that he cared, but I pushed that all away. For once, someone loved me. And I loved them back. 

As we walked back to my dorm, I held his hand. I thought he would hate me. He gave me a comforting squeeze back instead. 

He stayed as I took a look around and comforted me about my new living quarters when he noticed how frightened I was. When I cried again, he gave me yet another hug. And that was the first time I called him 'Papa.' 

I thought he hated me, but I didn't care. He was all I had, so I loved him. I thought I'd regret the so-called 'childish' yearnings of love towards him, but I never did. And Papa never once hated me - he told me so, the morning after he adopted me when he had breakfast for the first time as a family. 

He pulled me into a hug and told me he was proud. No one had ever said to me that before - besides Ciel, of course. And my old Mama and Papa. From everyone else, though, they had all been proud of my lie. They didn't even know I was me. 

I cried like a baby. 

* * *

I watched the candy floss-Esque clouds lazily float above us as we walked hand in hand, a brown, wicker basket in one of my Papa's arms that held our meal. Today, we were having a picnic. 

Looking over to him, I noticed his smile. Smiling, always smiling. I liked a lot of things about Papa, but I think I like his smiles the best. I've never met anyone that laughed as much as him. 

Sure, my ex-fiancee', Soma, and Sieglinde all smiled quite a bit. The happy lot they were. A dark thought passed over me, almost like a stark-black cloud. Massive that could cover the entire plain Papa, and I was on. They were happier without me. I didn't know the truth, yes, but was I wrong? I had caused them so much grief...

Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I looked up. Again, Papa was smiling. But it was different than the smile from before. Sympathetic. Worried. Loving. So, so many emotions from his smiles. I liked that. 

I smiled softly back, unable to give him the one I wanted to, and sighed. I looked down at my boots as we continued to walk, and Papa didn't pry any further. I appreciated that. 

As we walked, a beautiful, amethyst butterfly fluttered by and landed on my nose for a second, making me uncharacteristically giggle. Papa looked over and chuckled, shaking his head as it flew off after we got to the mouth of a decently-sized creek. 

With barely any trees in sight, it was almost completely clear, and I could easily see fish go about their day. Fish I've never seen before in my life - curious, I dropped my father's hand and rushed over to take a better look, and grinned broadly as I noticed their colors. 

A lovely, rosy pink, a vivid sky blue. 

"Heh. Caught wind of the fish, eh?" Papa asked, setting the basket on the ground. "You know, they're special to the Upper Realms."

I looked to him, confused. "Upper Realms?"

"Uh-huh. You know, this one. Heaven. Ithersta. Senersedee. A couple of others, too!" He explained, clearly ecstatic to be explaining something new to me. If Papa liked anything, it was teaching. Explaining. Enlightening. 

The Demon liked this too. Papa was different, though. He was ALWAYS interested and enthusiastic, especially when answering earnest questions anyone had. The Devil that was once my butler, always seemed irritated when asked. Almost as if it was a chore. 

That made me not ask many questions. 

"They sound interesting, Papa! Have you ever been to any others? I heard from TonTon that some are lucky enough! - I never knew what he was talking about, though..."

"Well, why didn't ya ask, Kid? He would'a been thrilled to answer you!"

"Eh..." I shrugged my shoulders, peering more profoundly into the river, spotting a yellow fish - almost as bright as a sunflower, that glittered like a gem in the light. "He was busy. And I didn't want to be a bother...TonTon was about to go to a meeting, anyway."

"You coulda asked em' afterward!"

"I could," I said, smiling lightly, looking back up to my father, before reaching over and grabbing our basket. "But I wanted to ask you! I like your explanations best!"

This made Papa grin, resting a hand on his hip. "Ah, really? You flatter me! Not a lotta' people ask me stuff like this, 'cause I 'parrently go on too long, or somethin'? As far as I'm concerned, nothin' is ever too over-explained!" 

"That's true!" I nodded, going over to the bridge connected from the side we were on, to the other - all made out of white, black-speckled marble. "C'mon! Let's go! I'm starving - I didn't have breakfast today!"

"Heyyyy, who's fault is that, hm?"

I gave him a look, before shaking my head. "We didn't have anything I wanted to eat! You went grocery shopping without me and bought rubbish!"

"Kid, I dunno what you're on, but I bought GOLD."

"You bought raw fish and pickled beets!"

"Yeah?"

"And an entire condiment rack! What are we going to do with five bottles of mustard?"

"Uh...eattem? And it's not raw fish - it's sushi!"

"It's the same thing!"

"No, it's not! And I got other things!"

"You got oatmeal raisin cookies."

"Their good, ok? Extra, especially when you sprinkle some salt and a little bit of cayenne pepper on!" 

Staring at him blankly, I turned a heel and crossed the bridge, waiting for him on the other side. "That's it," I said, jokingly sucking in my teeth. "I'm going to disown you."

"What? Noooo! C'mon, it's not that weird!" Papa exclaimed, taking a chance to use the large stones that littered the creek and carefully hopped across, all the way to my side. "It's delicious! Don't knock it to you try it!"

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"Yes!" Papa said with a nod. "And it sounds _amazing,_ a thank you very much!" He told me, earning a disgusted look from me. "Now, c'mon!" 

He grabbed my hand, We continued the path we were on, admiring flora and fauna around us as we continued our little banter. 

Today was perfect. Barely any clouds in the sky, it was warm, and everything my eyes landed on were considerably interesting (and beautiful) - making me quite happy I'd decided that morning before we left, to pack my notebook with us. 

Almost every huge rock that we came across, Papa just had to climb them. Nearly every blue and glossy-white wildflower we came past, I just had to pick for flower crowns. For once, everything seemed peaceful. 

Everything seemed happy. 

And I, for once, felt free. Never had I ever had this experience. Sure, I had felt free when The Demon and I escaped the cult, but it was nothing compared to this. The tragedy was new, I was a mess, broken in every way imaginable, and I was about to live the rest of my life as a lie, and perform heinous crimes in the 'righteous' name of the queen, and The Demon I was then eternally bound to. 

Now, though? The tragedy was old and far away. Yes, a new one happened - I had ended my existence in the Human Realm, but I had started anew in the reaper. I was able to get the help I needed and heal. I gained a family that loved me for me. And I was living as me, the right, real, honest, ME—Aster Huang, not Ciel Phantomhive. 

Papa hadn't thought I would change my name when he adopted me, but how on earth could I have possibly kept it? It was cursed. And if I was still Phantomhive, would I ever feel like I had truly gotten away from the hell that was my past life? 

I looked to my Papa, his smile carefree and full of light. Full of love. Energy. 

He made me the happiest person in the world, and no matter how many riches or opportunities offered to me, if I were to give him up, I'd _never._ As far as I was concerned, and as sappy (and silly) as it sounded, Papa was the light in my life. I hope I'm his, too. 

I grabbed ahold of his hand once again and grinned, pulling him up the path, laughing all the way as soon as he realized what I was doing. No longer tethered to walking, no longer held down by the sicknesses I once had, we ran. 

The feeling I felt was utter exuberance. 

We linked arms and ran to the top of the mountain we planned to have our outing today, the feeling of breathlessness completely nonexistent as we reached the top. 

There we sat together, atop the grassy hill of the mountain. For how long, I never knew. I never bothered to ask, and Papa didn't bring his watch. 

In each other's company, we talked and laughed. We ate our lunch and played for the rest of the day. Papa taught me all sorts of things. Hand in hand, we explored. And hands in hand, we spent the day completely inseparable. 

I had only ever imagined today in a far off dream, a never achievable fantasy, as a lonely, hurting human. 

Now here I was, living it as a happy, content, reaper. 

Sure, it was still painful. The ache would never go away. Papa died years before I, and he still woke up in the middle of the night crying like a baby, as did I. We have each other, though, and that's all that matters. 

Even the loneliest of nights aren't even lonely. Next door. There's Papa. And next-door, there is me. 

* * *

As the sun set, we lay together in each other's arms, admiring the colors of the upcoming dusk. A beautiful plum. A mesmerizing, peachy orange. Blushing, baby pink. The moon and its glory were just starting to rise, an abundance of stars glittering by its side. 

  
I snuggled up to my Papa, enjoying his warmth as it got noticeably colder. Usually, I'd get frightened by childish things like the dark, but I felt safe. He held me close and kissed my cheek, brushing some hair that had fallen into my vision, away. 

  
His heartbeat was steady, a quiet drum. It comforted me more than I could of possibly ever counted. Looking up to him, I smiled, and he smiled back, taking a chance to give me a peck on the forehead.   
  
My father, who I trusted with all my life, was with me. I didn't need to be scared. He'd always protect me. He pulled me even closer than before, and we settled into each other's embrace. "Didja' have a good day today?"

  
"Did you, Papa?"

  
"Mhm-hm...only 'cause you put up with me, and agreed to come. I know how much you rather be at home and play your games."

  
I smiled softly. "I like playing them, yes, but I much rather be spending time with you instead. You make me happiest of all."

  
"I do?"

  
"Would I ever lie about that?"

  
"No..." He said before we turned our attention to the gem-like stars that glittered above us. 

  
  
  
"You make me the happiest of all, too, Kid. Please...never forget that." Papa smiled at me. _He looked like he was about ready to cry._


End file.
